But this is an opportunity for you to step out into nature and feel the dirt beneath your feet, the ornamental grass tickling your nether regions, the shadow of a tall tree on your bare back, the vines and vegetables grazing inside you. Planted rows carefully without space of cloth in between.
from the mundane to the sublime
Gardening, for most of us, is in large part utilitarian—we transplant and weed and water, trim and deadhead, mow and sow to create that perfect look.
While tending carefully to those clean lines and green grass, and picking the right produce, we can sometimes pause to gaze at a few flower petals floating in the warm air.
We plant gardens for food, to fill empty spaces, to create a quiet and relaxing oasis in which we can relax and enjoy, or even to impress the neighbors.
Sometimes, it can be a bit of work.
But gardening is really about sex. The flowers you love to dip your nose in, and the kaleidoscope of color they provide?
Yes, they are the sex organs, luscious and fragrant, calling out to bees and butterflies to do their job.
They fly happily to drink nectar and pollinate, spread love and magic all around, set off a spark that produces ripe, heavy and delicious fruit, bursting from seed.
The flowers come in a variety of styles, some deep like bells, others perfectly symmetrical and short and tightly closed, yet others sensual and seductively showy, with fringed edges.
Pick a spot on the rainbow, and you’ll find a flower to match your wish.
Some species are also monoecious, having both male and female flowers on the same plant that can self-pollinate (as opposed to dioecious species, which have separate male and female plants).
But they still benefit from the bonus love tap through friendly pollinating insects, hummingbirds and the wind.
This virile, fertile, sexual dance is blissful. And on a sunny day in May, you’ll be called to join in that dance.
Don’t protest Listen carefully for the beat to fall – trust me, it will – and move your body like no one’s watching.
Or, get down with your evil self like everyone’s watching, if that’s your thing. There will certainly be croaking frogs and nut-hoarding squirrels and crickets.
Flow like a sultry snake, vibe in the praying mantis pose, soar like a dragonfly.
Experiencing the Garden Through the Senses
Of course, World Naked Gardening Day isn’t just about doing a jig around the fairy ring in the buff and soaking up some rays while you prim and prune.
I see it as an opportunity to become fully absorbed in the garden, an opportunity to maximize my experience of nature in a sensory, embodied way.
As the 16th Annual WNGD arrives, wake up early and stretch with the rising sun.
Inhale the fertile aroma and gaze at the awe-inspiring landscape around you. Absorb it through your pores, your retinas, your vibrating eardrums. Feel it on your skin. Taste it with your tongue.
Allow the many plants that fill your space to take you inside, and feel their presence with your whole being, wearing only a smile.
Enjoy the variety of scents and taste sensations that the garden has to offer.
There’s nothing like a juicy peach dripping down your chin and across your chest or a sun-ripened tomato bursting between your teeth.
True, it’s probably too early in the season for those special delights to make an appearance in most growing zones.
But imagine the crunchy snap of just-picked pea pods and the sweet taste of it on your tongue. Spicy flavor of arugula, a green rocket flying in the sky. Or the sweet-tart zing of a ruby-colored strawberry studded with tiny seeds.
These delightful treasures can be yours to consume slowly and lovingly.
Pinch a mint or rosemary leaf and inhale slowly, taking the fresh, herbal scent as deep into your lungs as you can. Chew edible flowers. Bury your nose in a clump of soft, moist, earthy moss.
This is bliss.
The garden is also a sea of textures – soft and hard, sharp and smooth, supple and hairy.
Use caution – some plants may bite you as a reminder of your dirty deeds, or leave you with an itchy rash. Do your research first if needed, as we all have different skin sensitivities.
And then go wild, experimenting with the feel of a smooth seed pod, a soft branch, or a coiled vine, stretching its tendrils skyward, absentmindedly grasping for footing.
The touch of velvety rose petals on bare skin is my favourite. Go inward and work your way up to find your longing.
A true connoisseur of World Naked Gardening Day knows that this holiday is about experiencing the garden with all your senses:
Listen carefully to the songs of birds in the meadow and the rustle of field mice, or the leap of frogs from floating lily pads to the waters of a deep, cold pond.
It’s about taking in every shade of green imaginable through your eyes and gazing to find more in the middle distance.
To feel the warm embrace of the leafy branches overhead, and the soft kiss of the soft petals.
Smell the orgy of intoxicating fragrances.
Savor the tart, warm juice of wild berries, and the sweet nectar of pink and yellow honeysuckle flowers.
Imagine tickling a fluffy seed down your lover’s spine, watching the tender buds unfold in the sun, and listening to the ripe seed pods crackle with a raspy pop.
Bliss is all around you, green and bursting from the earth, overflowing with new life. And you are part of it. Your friends and lovers and gardening partners are all part of it.
a healthy exercise
This full-naked vacation has potential health benefits, too.
Take a bath in the woods and feel your heart rate slow down, your stress levels go down. Phytoncide is no joke – and no, it is not another word for plant killing.
Rather, it’s a chemical released naturally by trees and other plants, which has actually been proven to improve immune function and other markers of health, and to promote feelings of general well-being.
Don’t have a full day? He is alright.
To take full advantage of this special occasion, immerse yourself in it for at least half an hour, and be fully present. Take a mental picture, and seal it in an envelope in your mind to return to on a rainy day.
But please, if you are free to enjoy, take your time. you deserve it you need it.
Studies have shown that picking fresh produce straight from the garden triggers a rush of dopamine, and playing in dirt filled with Mycobacterium vackai, a naturally occurring bacterium in soil, boosts serotonin levels.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, and it also makes us feel happy, euphoric, and sexy.
In addition to improving mood and other functions, it can aid with our feelings of motivation and sleep, as well as attention and movement.
Serotonin, another neurotransmitter, also boosts those feelings of well-being, as well as aiding other healthy functions in the body.
These chemical messengers work together, with dopamine signaling our feelings of pleasure, and serotonin popping up to make us feel satiated.
And you can get all of that by gardening, you guys!
relax, dance, and enjoy
When was the last time you were naked in public?
Without the burden of clothing, we can be as free as the local wildlife. Pick up a handful of the rich, cool earth and inhale deeply, then sift it through your fingers and over the toes of your bare feet. Dance to the beat of butterfly wings.
If you find that you are experiencing feelings of resistance, take note: This is not unusual. See if you can slowly let go of these feelings, take a few deep, grounding breaths, and open your mind to full immersion in the experience of naked gardening.
While it’s true that it’s not something most of us grew up doing, I have found my experiences with nudity in nature to be endlessly rewarding and enjoyable. Keep your physical safety and the safety of others in mind, don’t violate any local laws, and remove those threads.
Who knows, maybe it’s something you’ll find yourself doing again and again!
Take a nap on the warm grass and let your mind fill with sultry daydreams, then pick up your hoe and get to work, raking out the decaying leaves and making way for new growth.
After that, go back and do it all over again. You have all day.
And when it’s time for the sun to sink below the horizon, take a sip of cool, clear water and pause for a moment to thank the Earth.
Give thanks to native wild plants and cultivated ones, microbes and mycelium in the soil, and earthworms, bees and ladybugs. Bid the wildlife that calls your green space a pleasant good night.
If you can’t tear yourself away, spread out on the lawn or curl up in a cozy blanket and watch the planets and stars come out.
The waxing moon will be almost full on May 2 this year.
Listen for the birds of the night, feel the flap of a bat’s wings against the cool breeze, and watch the spiders weave their webs…
Where will you be on World Naked Gardening Day?
Are you ready to quit trouble, grab a shovel and get out there? Don’t forget your sunscreen! I’ll be celebrating May 2nd right there with you.
Feel free to let me know how you plan to celebrate in the comments below. Sexy plant puns are welcome, but let’s try to avoid getting too plant-deliciously graphic.
Feeling inspired? Check out these articles for more fun activities to do in the garden:
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